The one that's seriously off-topic

To continue a discussion started elsewhere...

TV Themes
Someone I trust more than myself said the theme to Sanford & Son is the best TV theme ever. (Or this version...)

Others on my good list include Barney Miller, M*A*S*H, Fame, The Banana Splits Adventure Hour, The Muppet Show, and All in the Family.

(Update: How could I possibly have forgotten Fraggle Rock?!?)

The bad list includes Small Wonder (though maybe it's just that the show was so bad), anything by Alan Thicke or Sherwood Schwartz, and something called Cleopatra 2525.

Worst song lyric phrasing ever
"Electrically they keep a baseball score", from Sonny & Cher's "The Beat Goes On".

Second worst is a tie between "there ain't no one for to give you no pain" and "there were plants, and birds, and rocks, and things", both from America's "Horse With No Name".

Single unexplainable word in a song
The second 'I' in Simon & Garfunkel's "Cecilia": "I fall on the floor and I laughing".

Random rhyme in a song
The Turtles.

So happy together
How is the weather
So happy together
We're happy together
So happy together
Happy together
So happy together
So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba)

Most random title of a well-known popular song
Rainy Day Women #12 & 35. Definitely.

Maybe more later,
sg

The one with the anniversary

Happy Half-Day!

Yeah, I'm not sure what to call it; I made it up. But I'm celebrating anyway.

I believe I moved into my first college dorm (Musser, room 202) on Sunday, September 2, 1990. Which means that as of today, Sunday, April 6, 2008, I have lived away from home for exactly half my life.



Yes mom, this does mean you're getting old. But I still love you,
sg

The one with a title

And that title: General Manager!

I’m employed!

All I can say is…life is strange.

Most of you know the story of my last job: I knew nothing about marketing, but when I met an executive recruiter at a job fair he took one look at my resume and said “I know a marketing research company that needs you, even though they don’t know it.” He’d just placed the general manager of the company and knew it well, and knew they’d be more effective if they had an analyst with my skills. Four days later I was hired, and I moved to Minneapolis and spent almost twelve years tracking the coupon industry.

This might be even more random! My friend Timmy writes me and says “You know you are in Montana when you can walk by a bulletin board and see: Wanted 1 or 2 male goats... Well, it turns out he knows the guy who put up that billboard.

Tim er, Doctor Murray finished his degree a couple of years ago, and he and his family moved to the Bitterroot mountains, in southwestern Montana, where [Major Drug Company] has a research division. And one of his co-workers has a ranch on the side, and they have a goat trading business.
Yes, that’s what I said.

Somehow, they were seeking someone with exactly my skill-set to oversee various properties. Which include the GoatFinder.com, the "Internet's #1 Source For Finding Goats Online", and its partner site, GoatWanted.com, which provides a simple interface to find goats that are currently available for sale. I'll be working mostly by phone and email, so I can work almost entirely from home.

My primary responsibilities will include:

• Develop and improve the database software that lies behind the site(s), storing information about the vendors, ranchers and breeders and their respective inventories
• Implement a probabilistic matching algorithm to pair offered and requested Goats along 29 dimensions of compatibility (they currently use just one dimension!)
• Organize a Scientific Board of Advisors, maintaining relationships with external hircine researchers from institutions worldwide working in areas related to Goat breeding and cloning
• Manage the external team of programmers who work on the front-end design and third-tier architectures that hold everything together and make it work (unfortunately, I probably won’t get to go to Bucharest or Mumbai to meet them, at least in year one)
• Evaluate new business opportunities (the idea I offered in my phone interview, to which they were immediately receptive and which will likely be my first major project, is to match ranchers with active herds to institutions needing innovative solutions in the areas of brush and scrub control)
• Additional responsibilities as required.
  

I start next Monday, and I’m super excited about this opportunity!

Coupons, goats, all I can say is life is weird, but wonderful,
sg

The one where I'm famous

SethG's hit the big time!

I've bored you before with crossword puzzle talk. Well, The JimH Crossword Blog is required reading for all serious crossword nerds afficionados. Jim and I have exchanged some notes in the past, and he liked the neutrino joke I told him.

Long story short (actually! my first time ever!), Jim published a short profile of me Friday night, then I was his guest blogger today, writing about today's puzzle and Jewish holidays.

Now I can just sit back, relax, and wait for the crossword hotties to start beating down my door!

The one where you can play along at home

"Mustang, this is Voodoo 3. Remaining MiGs are bugging out."

You remembered that this was Merlin, Tom "Maverick" Cruise's RIO in the final battle scene in Top Gun. But did you remember that Merlin was played by Tim Robbins?

Thank you sir, may I have another?
Do you know the Kevin Bacon movie game? The goal is to connect KB to a given actor in the shortest number of movie links. For example Robin Watts was in Juno with Jason Bateman, who was in Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium with Dustin Hoffman, who was in Sleepers with Kevin Bacon. So Robin Watts' Kevin Bacon number is 3.

Well, from the people who brought you FishWar, I'd like to announce a new SethG creation.

How it works in my mind...
Some day I'll actually get seated next to Kevin Bacon at a dinner party. Well, I'm coming prepared. We'll be talking, and I'll ask "And what do you do?" When he says he's an actor, I'll look at him for a second, and as the look of recognition slowly dawns across my face I'll say, "I know you...you're that guy from...{something}!"

The question is, what should it be? My idea here is to pick an actor who's famous, and a role for which he is very much not famous. And for Kevin, I've got the perfect one in mind. I'm sure he gets recognized every day, but how many times have people remembered him from his role in Pyrates, in which he co-starred with real-life wife Kyra Sedgwick?

When they met on a crowded dance floor, it was a combustible experience and the fire has continued. Everywhere they make love, they start a fire. Clubs, closets, even in a tepee. They leave a smoldering trail wherever they go. Not even ice can keep this hot couple from burning down the town.

Yes, they made a movie about a couple whose attraction to each other was so intense that things would spontaneously combust when they got it on. The movie's actually decent, but let's just say it's not the role for which he's known best.

The game has its roots in the spring of 1996. I was sitting in my apartment, watching Vision Quest (the 1985 Matthew Modine wrestling movie) with Laura and Helena. And I stared for like an hour at the woman who moved into his house, and it was driving me crazy that I couldn't figure out who she was. Finally I got it: It was the same woman who played Sasha in Gotcha! (the 1985 Anthony Edwards spy thriller). Later I looked it up: turns out, it was Linda Fiorentino. Who at the time was much more famous for her work in Jade, The Last Seduction, and Unforgettable. And we owned a copy of Pyrates, and the rest is history...

And, as the Kevin Bacon game, sometimes called Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, is named after the concept of six degrees of separation, we'll pick something that rhymes with obscure. Got it: Julianne Moore!

And she's perfect--Julianne Moore is a celebrated actress who's starred in many Oscar nominated and winning films and been nominated for four acting Oscars herself. But before that she had a bit role in Body of Evidence, about which all that can be said is that it wasn't Madonna's worst film. Just something to keep in mind when you run into her.

The Julianne Moore Movie Game! Pick up a copy today!

The one where I'm it

Whit tagged me on his blog, (my first!), so I guess it’s my turn to do a little post. Here are 8 Random Things about me.

1. When I was maybe 12 we saw a hit-and-run accident in Philadelphia. Dad said "Seth, remember this license number", so I did. It was PTG 704.

2. Russ, who runs the Math Skills Center at Carleton, retired my name tag ("Officer Seth") after I left. It usually lives in his desk drawer, but when he thinks one of his tutors shares the qualities (?) he associates with me they have a ceremony and he grants them the use of the tag until they graduate. I do not know if there's a current holder of the Officer Seth Name Tag.

3. (Semi-)recent Halloween costumes have included Rollergirl, David Bonior, Mini-Me, Jared, a Seven-Card Stud, and The Milkman.

4. Snu and I were given free sundaes once to pose for pictures for an ad for Paces, an ice cream place, because our red hair was so cute. The ad appeared, in black-and-white.

5. Matt Bahr, who won a Super Bowl ring when he was a rookie kicker with the Steelers, once signed my stomach.

6. I name things. My first car was a 1989 silver Dodge Shadow named Big Bertha. Then I had Blue, now Roberta (but you can call her Bobbi). My flash drive is named Gordon. I have computers named Erdos and Ricki on my household network, Mortimer.

And I always bowl under H-names--Hank, Hal, Hubert, Herb...

7. If you count all words, not just the ones no one else had, I scored 250 points on a boggle hand this morning.

8. I'm an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church (of Modesto, CA). My credentials are on file with the State of Minnesota, and I will soon officiate at my third wedding ceremony.

I've also been awarded a Doctor of Metaphysics degree, for which I paid the church $20.

You can call me Reverend Doctor Seth. I'm Jewish.

The one where we're in Cope's Cabana, sure we are

We're gonna talk about the Steelers game from A to Zanzibar

My parents weren't given to pronouncements. There was nothing we used to hear regularly around the house, no "Dad always said..." in my life. But there's one voice I recall vividly from my childhood, one iconic sound.

When I was growing up we'd regularly come home, my sister and I side-by-side in the back seat of dad's enormous '72 Impala, park in the garage, turn the engine off, and sit in the car listening to the end of Myron Cope's call-in sports talk show, the aptly titled Myron Cope On Sports.

Myron, pronounced "Mahrn", had let's say a distinct voice. He had that show for 20+ years, and for 35, starting before I was born and up until just a coupla years ago, he was the Steelers' radio color commentator. His was the voice of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and of Pittsburgh. Half the people watching at home would turn the sound off on their sets to listen to him instead, and plenty, like my dad, even listened while watching in the stadium just to hear what Cope would have to say.

He was, says Wikipedia, "known for his distinctive, nasally voice, idiosyncratic speech pattern, a Pittsburgh Jewish accent and a level of excitement rarely exhibited in the broadcast booth." He's a member of the National Radio Hall of Fame (the only football commentator in there) and an award-winning print journalist. He invented the Terrible Towel (the first of the things-fans-can-wave gimmicks) and named Da Bus.

Anyway, Myron died today, and a not so little piece of me died with him.

For a sample, click PLAY on the radio I stole from the Radio Hall of Fame. If you like what you hear, there's plenty more sound bites at Arlin's page.

Full coverage from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette is here.

Finally, like with all these other links, I can't watch the attached video (from last year, talking about the Towel) without getting chills. If you grew up with me or spent any significant time in Pittsburgh in the same era, I'm guessing you can't either.

I'll miss you, Mahrn,
sg

The one where I try live blogging

I've seen exactly 2 Oscar-nominated films this year, and we'll just say they're not up for Best Picture. And I will see some of the others, but for now I'm just gonna watch the Oscars and predict who will win, picking based on what I want to pick on. And while I watch I'll keep some notes, hang out with Finn while Trish makes dinner, work on this week's homework assignment, Gchat with Becca and Jill, who knows what else. We'll start (a maybe late start) with E! on the red carpet.

6:05: RS asked Kelly Preston/Travolta about her dress color. She said it's an orange, he said "No, it's stoplight yellow." Then he repeated it several times.

6:09: Anne Marie Duff (?) has _way_ too much eye makeup. I do not know who she is.

Gary Busey molested Jennifer Garner, who didn't appear to know who he is. Her purse looks like a clarinet case.

6:28: 'Insipid', in case you didn't know, means lacking significance or impact.

6:30: There’s another text messaging commercial, but not the one with granny saying "IDK. It's my BFF Rose." They should show that one.

6:36: Cameron Diaz: "Who are you wearing?" Dior. "And the jewelry?" CD turns around to find out.

6:48: fashion review. The French one up for Best Actress "looks like a fish on the red carpet." "But the most beautiful fish ever," they added. And they're actually kind of right.

There's a little person standing next to Ryan Seacrest. E! keeps showing him, I think because he's a little person.

And Harrison and Calista came together.

6:57: Becca reports that "michael moore is rectangular" I tell her that they should show him with Calista, who "is 2-dimensional." It's a bit disturbing--you can actually identify bones in her shoulders that I didn't know existed.

Ryan Seacrest just gave Katherine Heigl a baloney sandwich on a Ryan Seacrest plate. Here’s a picture of her wearing her PETA shirt.

7:02: Off to ABC. Regis Philbin might have a cold. Permanently.

7:18: 11:23 left on the countdown. Daniel Day-Lewis' wife has a black dress with bright red straps and an enormous, uh, plastic-crystal Christmas-tree-star broach? mounted front and center. Um, ugh.

7:25: Becca notes some more messy ponytails (Jennifer Garner, Cameron Diaz, Ellen Page), which she calls the theme for the night. To any ladies reading this, I'll just say that I have no problem with that.

I wonder who's hosting this year? Did I mention I haven’t been following this too much?

7:30: Good, it's Jon Stewart.

He starts with a lame joke, then tells some more. I think they're throwaway lines, but they get huge laughs.

7:36: First Clinton joke.

Re: Norbit's nomination in some random category: "too often, the academy ignores movies that aren't good."

My stripper name is Opie Linden.

7:39: First Republican joke.

Then he compares the name "Barack Hussein Obama" to "Gaydolf Titler".

7:43: …and, I'm 0 fer 1. Sweeney Todd didn't win costume.

But I can't wait for Get Smart! ...to be available at the library!

1 for 2, cause Ratatouille won. The guy gave a bad speech, and they started the music on him.

They started the music quick on some Best Art Direction woman, and she just talked right through it.

Amy Adams is pretty, whoever she is, but I totally forgot about having to listen to all the songs. Hello, mute button.

8:04: Turns out, TV sucks.

8:10: Cate Blanchett is pregnant, and they had her enter the stage by emerging from a giant tube.

Oscar's salute to binoculars and periscopes had some Fletch. So sadly overlooked.

Now there's a montage of bees appearing in movies to introduce best animated short. Peter and the Wolf won, and they brought Peter up on stage.
She said "This is for everyone," and CY said "Yay! My first!"

Tilda wins. She's kinda freaky. Which I thought before I saw the long, flowing curtain/sleeve on her right arm balanced by a bare left arm, or listened to her thank George Clooney and talk about him in a nippled batsuit.

The probability of getting two pairs if you roll five fair dice appears to be 1800/7776=25/108.

Ooh, now we get to find out who the accountants are…it's PWC again!

Full house odds: 300/7776.

Kristin Chenoweth's dress is solid, and doesn't fit her very well. And she's singing in a different dress than she arrived in, which also rode away from her bust. And she's 4'11" in real life, 5'7" in her Oscar shoes.

Bourne Ultimatum wins sound editing and mixing. I picked them for mixing, had No Country for editing. Now 4 right, 8 wrong. I suck.

9:15: The beautiful fish pulls a huge upset. "apparently Americans can's act very well," says chatting Timothy.

And, another montage. Whatever happened to Tom Hulce?

Counting the gems in Nicole Kidman's necklace is like those contests where you need to estimate the number of jelly beans in the jar. That thing must wrap around her neck like 9 times. To use a word from today's puzzle, she's engulfed.

The last achievement shown for the guy who won the honorary oscar was his work in Dragnet, which starred Tom Hanks, Dan Aykroyd and Christopher Plummer. He's 98.

I looked it up: 1399 carats. Which puts the value of her necklace at something like the gross national product of the island nation of Tuvalu.

Penelope Cruz announced best foreign language film, I think in a foreign language.

Who is that? And why is he wearing a polka-dotted tuxedo? He's Jon McLauglin, and remind me not to pick up his album.

John Travolta's hair is maybe made of plastic, and his tie is pointing up and to the right.

The best song won best song. And we got to see the real life couple accept their award. He's 37, she's 19. And they started the Leave Now music as she approached the microphone. So she did. But Jon brought her back after the commercial. And she proceeded to ramble, but she's a Czech who speaks English with an Irish accent, so it was okay.

10:00: Who died: Jack Valenti, the director of Monty, lotsa people who get no applause, the Cinematographer of Karate Kid, the director of A Christmas Story, finally _some_ applause for Suzanne Pleshette. End with the big names, Ingmar Bergman and Heath Ledger. Did they show that other director who died the same day as Ingmar? Maybe I missed it.

This is maybe the most forgettable Oscars I've ever seen, though by definition I might have forgotten the others.

I have to double-check, but I think there are 8,401,680 different 8-digit numbers that can be formed using the digits {1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8} if no digit can appear more than twice.

Diablo's up, and Harrison Ford gives it to her. The Oscar. He gives her the Oscar. She's wearing an animal print nightie that's slit up-to-here. A floor-length nightie, but still... She seems happy.

Three categories left. So far, I got TY to make me dinner, 8 right, 13 wrong, 3 chat windows, lots of IMDb/Wikipedia research. My picks: Daniel Day-Lewis, the Coen Brothers, and No Country for Old Men.

DDL does win, and he knelt before Queen Helen to be knighted. Which is good, because I got to see more of his wife’s dress. It’s…indescribable.

Speaking of Helen, her dress is weird too, mostly its sleeves, but she’s gorgeous. And if you go to her IMDb page, you can click to get a coupon for a free small Coke with purchase of a Jalapeño Thickburger at Hardee's at the regular price.

Coen brothers. Tim says "And the winner for best impersonation of Seth G
The one coen brother who did not say much". Which might be true, or might seem weird if you've actually read this far.

10:47: good night from Jon.

Now: good night from me.

The one that's not as good as it looks, but boy does it look good

The one with the dawning of the aged rodent

It was amazing just how bad bad karaoke can be.

It was Meghan's birthday, and I guess mine too, so we went to the Chatterbox. Good times were had by most, maybe even all.

Despite the karaoke. There was a tableful of regulars who dominated the singing, and none of them were any good. And they weren't bad in a good way, they were just bland with no personality. For example, some mousy girl sang Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows, which the New York Times described as "a bleak prophecy about the end of the world as we know it" and which at the bar sounded like an instructional video for convenience store employees.

The worst performance was some death metal dude, at the end of which the karaoke guy said, and I quote, "Jesus Christ." I got some video, but with my crappy handheld point-and-shoot they're kind of dark and you can't really hear that well...I'll see if I can find a way to make them watchable.

I think the karaoke dude was really happy when John came back. He was the only member of our party to perform, and we all waited around for him to come back because he rocks. And he rocked. Yes John, we should Get It On.

Pictures are here, including some friends with different sized heads, Jillie O, some interesting random karaokeers, and pictures of me.

ta,
sg

The one where I missed my chance to defenestrate

I am less than a man. I am excessively icked out by things that are icky, and scared by those and more.

And this shouldn't have been too icky, but when a bat the size of a pterodactyl flew into my bedroom last night (from the hallway, not the window), I had both heebies and jeebies.

I ran out of the room. Tried to open a window, but I couldn't open the screen. Though I did knock a lightbulb off a shelf, so now I had a bat flying around and broken glass everywhere. With images of squirrel cop (at 19:50, and you should totally listen) in my head, I had to go back into the room to grab my phone or computer, to call for help or at least look up what I should do. The phone was more easily portable, so I grabbed it and ran. I called TY. She was dismissive of my complaints.

Went back upstairs with a broom, and...couldn't...find...Battie...anywhere.

I slept downstairs, on the sofa.

Went upstairs this morning to find...a cute furry nothing asleep on top of my door.

He looks a little bigger when his wings are spread, a lot bigger when they're fully spread, and his teeth are
ferocious.

I wrapped him in the towel and threw him outside. I thought I might have hurt him because he didn't move for a while, but I went back to check on him and he was gone.

Then, while I was making breakfast I heard a knocking--he was trying to get into the window on the basement staircase where my dryer vents. So we might see Battie again, but in the meantime, Na na na na Na na na na Na na na na Na na na na, I am Batman.

Switching to the non-mammalian, Duck lost to Rocket, 11-9. I played one and a half points, did nothing wrong and something very right, and had a +1 differential.

See you tomorrow at the Box,
sg

The one where I'm coffee shopping

But no cribbage until after I do a bunch of work on my resume draft. But later...

Snu's birthday was yesterday (Happy Birthday Snusie!), which means mine's coming up. Not quite ready to have my house party yet, and I don't usually care about it, but I'm trying to live The Opposite.

So, I might have a gathering at a bar or something. Probably last minute to make it easier for people to invent excuses not to make it (and of course harder for people who do want to come to make it...)

Or, I'm thinking about going to Vegas with some friends this weekend. I could get a ticket for under $300, or use my USAir mileage to come back Sunday evening and avoid the redeye.

Or, I'm thinking about buying me some kittens, theoretically to be named Myron and Gail, though that could change after I meet them.

Or, more than one of the above.

See, old Seth would have done none of these things, whereas new Seth is at least considering them!

Oh, and did I mention I'm a grad student now? Starting today, with just two (really 1+) classes to see if I like and want to stay in the program. It's at Colorado State, not Harvard, and I'm not moving anywhere--I can complete virtually the entire degree, I think all except my project/thesis defense, from literally anywhere. But it does mean my coffee shop time will probably not decrease for a while yet...

ta,
sg

The one where I'm FINALLY getting faster

4:30! On a Monday puzzle, but still, it's a big improvement...for me... Hey, I need to be excited about _something_ in my life.

Instead of trying to remember my best crossword times for each day from the past, I decided to set goals for each day and then start keeping track once I get them.

My initial goals:

• Monday - 5 min
• Tuesday - 6 min
• Wednesday - 10 min
• Thursday - 12 min
• Friday - 20 min
• Saturday - 30 min
• Sunday - 30 min

I got the Friday in 18:xx a couple of weeks ago (Jan 4, 2008), so now we're gonna go with 16 min. And last Sunday (Jan 13, 2008) was 29:58, so the new goal is maybe 25 min.
As for Monday, I'll catch Bannister yet!

sg

The one with hits

Welcome, tennis fans!

A year ago today I saw my first match of the 2007 Australian Open, Richard Gasquet over Gael Monfils in 4 sets. I mention it now because the 2008 Open is going on right now, and I've been getting some hits recently from tennis fans who find me on yahoo or google. Recent searches that found me include

• ashley harkleroad pics cute pretty
• Vince Spadea is a chump
• vordika
• joy of seth
• Nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis seventeen times in a row

Feel free to link to this post so google likes me even more.

Anyway, I'm sure you're really all here to find out about week three. Duck took on Lady Zerks last night. At 11pm--I took a nap first. And _really_ thought about not going...did I mention it's a bit nippy out right now?

The team won, I dunno, 13-6 or so. No big runs, we just kept scoring about twice for every one they got. We had 6 guys, 3 or 4 women.

My game....was a very mixed bag.

For example, I skied a 6'6" guy (I cut deep just as TO got the disc, had a 5- or 6-step lead, the throw floated, I slowed, he caught up but let me keep my position, I let it come directly over my head and went up at the right place to catch it near my peak, which is probably right about level with his chin...). Landed about 5 yards out and threw an easy score to Jill when she and Cristy split him.

Then, the very next point, we forced backhand and I had no idea. Isn't it always force wall in indoor? They scored very easily.

Overally, I played 9 points with a +3 differential. Did have my first turnover of the year, a backhand to Charlie that was a bit behind him. Okay, he was 10 feet from me, and it was 8 feet behind him. Caught a goal, threw a goal.

Went to the bar afterwards, got home about 2:20. It was -15, and windy.

Today I wanna head over to Lake Nokomis, where the US Pond Hockey Championships are going on. Less than a mile from my house is a hockey tournament that ESPN called one of the "101 Things All Sports Fans Should Experience Before They Die". There are 225 teams on 26 outdoor rinks. Which would be awesome if it only felt sixty degrees warmer out, (which would still put us just below freezing), but it is what it is.

And what it was, and what it shall be,
sg

The one with invested powers

No job yet, but I did land a consulting gig. Of sorts--on May 18th, I'll officiate at my 3rd wedding. If you or someone you love wants to get hitched in Minnesota, check with me to confirm scheduling--I have very reasonable rates, must less than the other guy charges!

I should have a tag line, but "Reverend Doctor Seth, for all your nuptial needs" is lame, inaccurate, and the only thing I can think of right now. You work on that, I'll get started on my logo and look into ad space.

In other news, we're 2-0 in the big winter league season. The schedule toughened up a bit as we played the "Alumni from the other school in Northfield that plays ultimate, but never had any success". Kind of a weird team name. They had Trueslut, Schmelzle, BK, Solarz, some others. We had I think 8 boys and 9 girls, perfect numbers for playing 3/2 on a Friday night.

The game was close for a while, I think they were up 3-2 at one point. Then I had a monster (er, I mean phantom) d that sparked a decisive 9 point run to let us put the game away. This was kinda an ideal winter league game--we started at a perfectly reasonable 8pm, and with our numbers I didn't really need to pay that close attention...I guess we were up 11-3 at one point, a point at which I don't think I could have told you whether we were winning or not. I think it was 13-6 at the end, good enough to vault us in to 2nd place in the league standings for now.

My stats, again, were very unimpressive. 6 points played, +2, 1 goal, one lucky assist. I had a bad position at one point to let my defender get an easy poach.

Now I'm supposed to discuss best/worst vs worst/best, but I won't do that for fear of finding out where I stand. Though I assume in my case it's more middling/average vs average/middling.

chao,
sg

The one where I'm a driver, I'm a winner

Hey, I've missed you guys. Happy new year!

Sorry about my absence. I was planning to write up the trial for which I actually served on the jury, but never did. I will now, if you're interested, though I assume no one reads this anymore so I won't unless you ask for it. But I don't mind, and I've got notes, so feel free to ask away.

Then I was gonna post a note about the Irony Of The Year, an actual irony and not just an Alanis thing that sucked, when I saw this lede: "BELOIT, WIS. (AP) -- Ken Hendricks, a roofing company billionaire, has died after falling through his roof."

Then I think I was gonna post something else, or maybe it was some other thing, but I didn't. So now we're here.

The end of last year was...inauspicious. But, like Beck says, things are gonna change, I can feel it. This'll be a busy month, with lots planned. Accomplishments so far include

• broke the 20-minute barrier for a NY Times Friday puzzle (by a bunch, and I should have broken 15)
• called a girl
• installed my cd/dvd player
• bought dining room chairs

Stay tuned for an end-of-month fiesta to rock G's house.

In ultimate news, Wanna Buy a Duck is off to a strong start in Friday night winter indoor. Now 1-0 on the year. We beat Christian Science Reading Room, 21-0. (In 50 minutes, and goals count 1 pt each.) Thanks to the vagaries of our system, we're currently ranked in 4th place in the league.

Anyway, to the game. I played awesome. I was just so stoked to be playing ultimate frisbee again. I was +5 (only played 5 points). I had 1 goal, 2 assists. No turns, as Dave caught the one shitty pass I threw. For some reason we used a Wham-O, which my experienced hands sensed immediately.

K, I'm audi. Betcha I know what responses will focus on! And I of course mean the Steelers game.
Here we go, Steelers, Here we go! (4X),
sg

The one where I'm bored on a Monday

THE JOY OF SETH INDEX

Average number of cases in the Hennepin County Court system scheduled each week : 200.
Number of cases in the Hennepin County Court system scheduled this week : 25.
Average number of cases scheduled each Monday : 65.
Number of cases scheduled for this Monday : 21.
Number of cases settled or postponed so far this morning with no need for a jury : 11.
Number of cases scheduled for Tuesday : 3.
Number of cases scheduled for Wednesday : 1.
Number of cases scheduled for Thursday : 0.
Number of cases scheduled for Friday : 0.
Number of people who spent all morning in the jury room with me : 250.
Number of people who have so far been excused from jury duty : 0.
Length of my required jury service, in weeks : 2.
Combined number of words I've exchanged with others in the jury pool : 10.
Percent chance that I'll be required to complete my service, roughly : 0.
Minutes until I need to be back in the room so bye for now : 12.

The one where I found an income opportunity but I'm gonna keep looking

On Zanzibar, the spice island of Tanzania, I went on Mr. Mitu's Spice Tour. We tried lotsa kinds of Zanzibari fruits.

And while I was there the PABs were in Thailand, where they ate some of the same fruits. I was jealous when I saw Phil's picture of the mangosteen 'cause my shot hadn't come out.

Then, a couple of days later there was a note in the NYTimes saying that mangosteens, which "had been barred as imports from Thailand because they could harbor harmful insects...will be allowed in when irradiated at low doses to kill or sterilize the pests."

So when I saw the poster in the library advertising a meeting to learn more about mangosteens I thought I should go. Hey, I left my house!

The meeting...was not about the fruit.

Turns out, if you take the fruit and mash it up, then mix it with apple juice concentrate, pear juice concentrate, grape juice concentrate, pear puree, blueberry juice concentrate, raspberry juice concentrate, strawberry juice concentrate, cranberry juice concentrate, cherry juice concentrate, and some other ingredients to make juice, you can sell it for $25 per bottle, buy by the case! Mangosteens contain xanthones, so they call it XanGo.

The meeting was led by Brian and his ?assistant distributor? Keith, a pharmacist. We wore name tags and told our stories. The other people were old and talked about health problems, I talked about discovering the fruit on an island off the coast of Tanzania. I knew more about the fruit than Brian or Keith did.

Brian kept joking about his inability to spell when filling out people's name tags. One Asian woman walked in (with her Caucasian husband) and Brian said "Well, I just know I'm gonna have a problem with your name." Her name was Jenny. There were about 8 people total, and the meeting followed two paths.

First, if you drink a couple ounces of XanGo a day (or even rub it on) you can reduce inflammation, maintain intestinal health, support the immune system, neutralize free radicals, support cartilage and joint function, and promote a healthy seasonal respiratory system!

Second, if you sell it to others, and have them sell it to others, who sell it to others, you can make a lot of money!

Keith, told the story of his friend, who fell off a roof and broke both heels. Ibuprofen wasn't helping enough with the pain, but after drinking just an ounce of mangosteen juice three times a day for just a month the pain was virtually gone! He didn't even need the Tylenol anymore! (And yes, I know that Tylenol isn't ibu, but Keith seemed confused...)

The meeting leader, Brian, did some math on the whiteboard. See, if you tell someone about XanGo and they buy it you get 30% of their initial order. And 5-15% of other orders you or they are involved in. So you recruit just one person per month to buy just one case, and each of them recruits just one person each month to buy a case, and each of them recruits just one person each month to buy one case...

After 12 months of this, assuming everyone continues buying and recruiting, your network will be buying 2048 cases per month. That's 5% of $204,800, or $10,000 per month!

I didn't point out to him that under the same assumptions you'd make $20K in month 13, $650,000 in month 18, and $4,000,000 in month 24.

They probably didn't break the fraud laws against pyramid schemes since they're selling a real juice, even if it's at really inflated prices. They probably did break the laws against making health claims for a product that they say isn't subject to FDA approval, but who am I to say. (The FDA issued a warning letter last year, though the company would probably claim that the people at the meeting were independent distributors who weren't strictly following company policies.)

I didn't bring this up at the meeting because some of the people there were really sick (congestive heart failure, lung cancer) and I didn't want to take away their hope that this really is a miracle product. But maybe I should have.

In any case, we're gonna pass up this opportunity and keep looking.

Sorry about all the exclamation points,
sg

The one where I _really_ need to get out more

NBA stars are playing Family Feud against their moms all week.

Richard Jefferson's mom is named Meekness LeCato.

Harry Shearer beat Isaac Mizrahi and Soledad O'Brien on Celebrity Jeopardy.

I need to get out more.
sg

The one where it's November

There're too many people involved and too much time to go for me to really get too interested at this point in the presidential primaries. And I know that I won't vote in mine until February, or offer housing to some RNC protesters until next summer.

And sometimes you see election results from a couple of random races around the country on some random day in April. I usually figure it's just a primary somewhere with a weird schedule or that someone died or something. So that's what I thought of this week when I saw that Haley Barbour romped again in Mississippi and that the Democrats picked up a governor in Kentucky.

Turns out, it was a normal election day, and I completely missed it. There was none of the stuff you need to pay attention to on off years (or at least I didn't know about it). We just had our city races in 2005, and I don't randomly come across the STrib's election supplement in the lunch room anymore to find out about the park board or library council candidates and remind me it's time to vote.

It's been years since I've missed an election. And I didn't even realize I'd missed it until I happened to glance at the header while reading paper this morning, the first time I'd gotten an actual newspaper in weeks rather than just reading the e-version. Uh, it's November 11th already.

Even the fact that it's Veterans Day didn't clue me in--I just thought I was confused about Memorial Day when I heard people talking about it coming up. (Apparently very confused--I had to mix it up with Labor Day first before I could confuse it with this one...)

So vets, thanks for your sacrifices. Sorry I haven't been honoring them and have been completely unengaged,
sg