The one where, uh, what?
I feel like I'm not overly materialistic. But I like money, and I especially like it when people give it to me, so I was at first excited to receive IRS Notice CP 13xx:
Understanding Your Economic Stimulus Payment
Please keep a copy of this notice for your records.
Please keep a copy of this notice for your records.
Dear Taxpayer:
Your Economic Stimulus Payment
You are entitled to an economic stimulus payment of $600.00 as provided by the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008. You can expect you payment by 5/23/08. If you do not receive...
How We Calculated Your Payment
...
Your Stimulus Payment Calculation
...
= Your Calculated Stimulus Payment: $600.00
Details of Your Stimulus Payment Calculation
We calculated your stimulus payment based on the following rules.
Filing Status
Based on your filing status, the amount of your stimulus payment is $600...
[all emphasis in the original]
Gee, it's almost enough to make a fella think he'd be getting a payment. But the letter goes on, without ever saying it in, you know, English, to give reasons why I think I'm not eligible.
So I'm very confused, but pretty sure I won't get anything. Why, they're treating me as if I'd married a foreigner...
But thanks for getting my hopes up!
Bastards.
2 comments:
Thought you might enjoy Dave Barry's take on the economic stimulus checks.
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
I'm more than willing to stimulate the Chinese economy.
It is after 5/23/08. I have not received...
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